I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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