filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
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