mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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