just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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