If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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