I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
