tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
