we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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