I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer