If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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