Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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