everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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