i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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