Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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