just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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