omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize