They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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