Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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