Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize