are you so shy because you have an std?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house