Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high

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(310): I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high http://tfl.nu/hr6z

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

(281): View more from Texas

what did you steal

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

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(832): We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa (281): what did you steal (832): frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list. http://tfl.nu/gckp

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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(785): Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/tpw6

Replies (26) Good night (608) Bad night (5427)
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(517): View more from Michigan

let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.

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(517): let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it. http://tfl.nu/9qiv

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(515): View more from Iowa

there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.

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(515): there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up. (1-515): yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that. http://tfl.nu/isva

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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(859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7

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(770): View more from Georgia

separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.

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(770): separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles. http://tfl.nu/p09d

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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(720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b

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(702): View more from Nevada

I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.

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(702): I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high. http://tfl.nu/9ove

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(416): View more from Toronto

Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

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(416): Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender. http://tfl.nu/ts7y

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(613): View more from Ontario

Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET

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(613): Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET http://tfl.nu/m2li

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is

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(724): Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is http://tfl.nu/t84q

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(075): View more from

thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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(075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6

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(519): View more from Ontario

I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats

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(519): I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats http://tfl.nu/z216

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(850): View more from Florida

Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.

(1-850): View more from Florida

Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.

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(850): Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians. (1-850): Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue. http://tfl.nu/hc5m

Replies (10) Good night (3011) Bad night (491)

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