I am full of burrito and curiosity
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's blow job season.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.