I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.