dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
