Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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