We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
