Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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