it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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