I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
