I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The ass gains better be worth it
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