I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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