I just pynch a tree in the face
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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