The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
