If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.