Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.