my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision