Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...