dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
did you just send me my own nude
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.