I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
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Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.