Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...