I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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