Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Everything about him screamed your future.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
