Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.