I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS