oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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