if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
