New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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