Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
