I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize