If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as a side note pls kill me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize