Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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