I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
