absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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