So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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