dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize