yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
