He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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