Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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