so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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